Apparently, I’m very mean and sarcastic now… LOL apparently, I’m a “dick” now. Whut.
HANGING AROUND GUYS
It’s easy, it’s fun, you get to say and do whatever you want. They take care of you. Ever since college, I’ve only been making guy friends- not that I purposely do it- it just happens to be that way. I love them. I’m always happy when they’re around.
But then there are the moments when they talk about girls. That’s when I get super insecure and self-conscious. They would say stuff like, “oh she’s not pretty enough, her butts not big enough, she has no boobs, her face ain’t that cute” And I’m just like check, check, check and fucking check. Everything applies to me. It makes me question myself. How do guys see me? How are they judging me? How many “flaws” do I have?
I wish I was beautiful, just wake up in the morning and be a fucking princess. I wish I didn’t need the makeup and clothes. I wish I had that natural wow factor.
LOL but you know what, forget it. It is what it is. I can’t change shit. But that doesn’t cancel out the fact that it does bother me sometimes…
Next week will be hell. Let’s just get it over with.